beloved novelist, satirist and humanist terry pratchett, surrounded by his family: please tell neil… that my last wish… is that he make a tv show that is like house md levels of queerbaiting
spotify will be like are you a HARDCORE PUNK do you HATE THE ESTABLISHMENT and want some songs to BEAT UP COPS TO? listen to our PUNK PLAYLIST! and the playlist is like. welcome to the black parade
interview with the vampire (1994) is so funny because brad pitt was like i fucking hate it here i hate this character i will not read those dumb books i hate this shoot it’s all at night i’m so miserable i want to buy my way out of my contract but it’s a few million more than i can spare and david geffen won’t negotiate a lower price so i need everyone around me to be miserable too so i won’t shower in protest and tom cruise was like i’m having a *blast* i was such a fan of the vampire chronicles so i’ve been rereading the books and wow lestat has so much going on internally he’s my best friend my blorbo from work my wife and i moved to paris for a few months to get a feel for his era and culture and we love new orleans and i studied videos of large cats stalking their prey and i’ve been reading a lot of classical literature to really nail his vocabulary and vocal cadence and i lost 20lbs to really get that gaunt look and wow isn’t kirsten dunst so talented she should be claudia i’m going to make sure she gets the role i’m having so much fun i love it here and guess which one anne rice waged a very public war against until the studio had to step in because she was getting too nasty only for her to do an about face when the movie came out and proclaim that his performance would be remembered with olivier’s hamlet
A scientific consideration of cultural preservation in Gideon the Ninth
HYPOTHESIS: the Venus de Milo is in Canaan House
REASONING: John is keen on decoration (the rest of Canaan House, the Mithraeum, his fancy baby-bone crown). John has strong opinions on preserving things he considers ‘worthy’ (the earth, his friends, Shakespeare). Why not famous art? Canaan House is filled with old and rotting portraits - they can’t ALL be of Cyrus and Valancy.
EVIDENCE:
There was a single statue at the end of the corridor where it turned left. It must have once been a person, but the head and arms had been lopped off, leaving only a torso with beseeching stumps. - GtN p130-1 (when Gideon is looking for Harrow)
beseeching stumps?? It’s simply got to be the Venus de Milo. No stumps plead more tenderly:
But she has a head! I hear you protest.
Aha! Now we come to Palamedes and Camilla doing psychometry to figure out the age of Canaan House:
“Fiat lux! If you want to talk improbable, let’s talk about this”-a scrape of stone on stone-“being three thousand and some years older than this.” A heavy clunk.
About 3000 years older than another part of Canaan House? Hmm! And what’s that Camilla is holding?
“Standing next to him holding a big wedge of broken sculpture and the flashlight was a tall, equally grey-wrapped figure with a scabbard outlined at her hip.”
“The cavalier narrowed her hooded eyes, fidgets gone and absolutely still; then she exploded into action. She dropped the wedge of sculpture with a clonk, drew her sword from its shabby scabbard before the wedge had bounced once, and advanced.”
SCULPTURE!
CONCLUSION: the Venus de Milo IS in Canaan House! However, it was decapitated by known practical thinker and simp Camilla Hect so that Palamedes Sextus could do his carbon dating easier without tiring out his necromancer noodle arms
SECONDARY CONCLUSION: Camilla was going to use the head of the Venus de Milo to bash open the laboratory hatch
